Offices in San Ramon, Livermore, and Walnut Creek
When you were together, every moment was pure joy. When the you were apart, you couldn't wait to be together again. Romance was in full bloom. When you were feeling blue, your partner could usually make things brighter. You talked and talked about what your hopes and dreams, and you listened to one another.
You don't feel connected anymore. You might feel distant. You may feel that your partner no longer truly "hears" you or knows how you really feel about things. Your emotional needs are not being met. You notice that the two of you don't spend quality time together. And since your relationship is so important to you, the fact that it's not going well is affecting other areas of your life.
You may have been having ups and downs in your relationship. Or worse, you and your partner may be trapped in a repeating cycle of criticize - fight - withdraw - make up. But each fight pushes you a little further apart.
You may no longer trust your partner. An affair may have just been revealed, or an internet pornography addiction discovered. You may even be thinking about divorce.
It would be wonderful if you could rekindle the love, excitement, and passion that you once had, but you don't know how to get it back. People want and need to be loved, and when they begin to wonder how much their partner still loves them, it can be quite upsetting.
You may have listened to the advice of your friends. You may have read a book or two about relationships. But you've found that books don't motivate the two of you to make long-lasting changes.
In an article published in The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, clients of 526 couples counselors were surveyed, and 91.2% of the clients said they were satisfied with the amount of help they received. Unfortunately, most unhappy couples don't start counseling as early as they should. They tell themselves that they are too busy, or they don't want to spend the money - but how much is a happy relationship worth? Studies show that the average couple waits six to seven years beyond the time the marriage starts to unravel before they decide to seek counseling. For more information on couples counseling, see Frequently Asked Questions.
I am Jay Slupesky, a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. I have a master's degree in Counseling from Saint Mary's College of California, and my master's thesis topic was couples counseling. I'm a clinical member of the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists and an clinical member of the American Association of Marriage & Family Therapists.
Many counselors are reluctant to work with couples and prefer to work only with individuals. But I love working with couples and I have helped many of them. I keep current on the latest research so that I can help you get your marriage back on track.
Many men don't like to talk about their feelings, or they at least find it hard to put their feelings into words. Also, it's not uncommon for a man to fear that a female counselor will take the woman's side. While couples counselors strive to avoid taking sides, many men feel more comfortable with a male counselor.
You may call me at 925-351-8447 any time. I answer my own phone; there is no answering service. If I can't answer, your call will go to my voicemail. I'm the only person who will hear your message. You may also e-mail me at jay@eastbaycouples.com if you prefer.
